This is in honour of all those people who have literally killed english grammar! Well I did also add a few grammatically correct sentences in here because they were just way too hilarious! I'm not gonna be mentioning any names to save those poor, grammatically-challenged people from public humiliation (hey! we all make mistakes...but these are just tooooooooo funny!...you'll realize once you read them).
A few things that my schoolmates said to me:
*I want to be a pilot! I just love driving planes (Hmmmm weird...I thought pilots FLEW planes!..Anyway, you go girl!...Let me know when you finally become the proud driver of your dream plane!)
*I want to friendship with you (Uh..no thank you!)
*Did you cut my hairs with scissors? (No, I didn't cut your HAIRS!)
Well, I had Gautami help me on this one..while we (the rest of the class) were catching up on our sleep during Hindi periods, she bothered to take down a few crucial "notes". Thanks to her, we now have a complete diary of the stuff that our Hindi teacher used to say in class that got us rolling on the floor... laughing of course! It must be noted that a few words are in Hindi so as to bring out the real "experience" of listening to her speak! Oh, I should also mention that she was a reallllllly good teacher, and we did NOT hate her at all...I'm just doing this in her fond memory! Here goes:
*Did you understand or do you want me to express it in more brief? (Uh...I'm "trying" to capture her accent as well...but its a little difficult)
*I came late and you're another late
*Ayyyy I took a five minutes extra in a 12th science to finish a one chepter (chapter)
*How many noise you make? By the time I got to a staff room all the teacher are asking me ki who has to go to the 9 'c'
*Ayyy I will give you a slap because no other language you understand (was directed at Divya!)
*Where is you? Where is you? Where is you? Aha! There is you!! (was directed at Gautami!)
*The first time I learnt a scooter (she means, the 1st time she learnt to ride one) I went so much kilometre and everyone was staring me
*I is talking, you is talking...everybody talking talking
*The sadness is a permanent on their faces (while explaining Chandragupt)
*Ayyyy you think ki if I'm sitting here that I don't have a ear or a eye? (to a girl sitting in the last bench and talking)
*If you're happy with the little little happiness then whatever the happiness in the world, who take it? (please help me understand these words of wisdom..I'm still having trouble deciphering them)
*He was agree 2 them both marry (she means that Samudragupt decided to get his son and some woman married)
*Don't copy like a blind man during the exams (oxymoron!! firstly-BLIND men can't COPY! secondly- its an all girls' school...so there aren't any "men" in the classes)
*Those who are not interested, I don't mind you sending out
*You should not have the more than one child in China but here in India, they have more than 10-10 child (wow! talk about family planning!)
*Tho you all start doing mischievous
*Tho for revision they have August month, September month and October month
*You had a Monday grammar? (did u have grammar on Monday)
*They will conduct the one puja
*Everybody will start shouting on each other
*See the how important the person is, the person who clean the road
*You should not give the less for the worker and the more for the adukated (educated) person
*There are many examples are there
*Tho they used to bring the water from the very far
*Now I will make you stand under the sun for the one hour (will trying to punish us for creating a racket)
*If you know the swimming, you can go to the deep and bring the pearl
*And you take this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, you can't find a nice and tasty (?????)
*Matlabb he want the such a time when his father has a doulat
*Aaj se no English talking
*I'll send you somwhere to see the whether you are the sher or the bhainse (bull)
*Hum sansaar mein can live with the less comfort
*What you're sleeping or tho kya you're dreaming?
*If you put a ten cup tea and a one cup sugar then what happen?
*They used to some trouble cause
*We got a soooo bad name
*Like a he is a talking to the God
*Day-night he does the bhajan
*He feeling very violence
*If one make the sound, everybody make the sound
*He said to bediya, I bow my head on you feet
*He will get a happiness up (in heaven she means)
*After your death you will have this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this
*Because she wanted the him ki to help me
*Leave the mischievous and do the work (directed at the entire class cause we were just having a ball!)
*He was taking the round and round in a room (walking up and down)
*Bharat is in India only (er.. yeah.. where else can it be?!)
BEST FOR LAST:
*A man who was a drunk come to house and shout on wife and child and kill to them
(K I should thank Gautami A LOT for this cause she gave me this book where she'd written most of the above! Thanks man!)
Ok...now it goes from chuckling-kinda funny to downright humorous! A few of Mrs. Kaveriamma's famous er...sayings (if that's what you classify them as). Well I should probably introduce her to those who weren't in the same 8th standard class as I was. To start with, she was our 5th physics teacher that year...and we still wonder from which halli she was regretfully hired. All I can say is that she has a permanent place in our memories now..and I'm glad she went back to where she came from (aren't all the ex-8 'c' students?)! K...read on:
*You ask my husband and daughter, I don't slap hard. (Hmm this situation needs a little background explanation as well. Well, Kaveriamma had just slapped one of our fellow classmates due to no fault of hers and her mother came to complain to our principal the next day and this is what she says in the princi's office! Gosh! her poor husband...she ill-treated him as well!)
*If you think you're too smart, go get married
*You laugh everything like a big buffoon
*First you ask for your papers, now you have doubts. What you think? Teachers are like cockroaches running up and down? (Maybe teachers were considered cockroaches in her halli)
*Remove you flats (plaits)
*Your smile is so beautiful, i want to throw YIT YIN the cowdung (Hahaha.. must thank Shruti for this one!!)
If you're not laughing yet, I'm sorry to say that your sense of humour SUCKS!
