Weekend Woes

What you're going to read about in this note is a perfect example of why you should always listen to your moms (with many exceptions, of course). They know you better than you think you know yourself. When I first decided to sign up for the second level of French at Alliance Française the only batch available was the 7am-10am weekend one. This basically meant that I had to drag myself out of bed early every weekend, go all the way to College Road and sit through three hours of French. It didn't seem like an impossible task at the time and with a lot of misplaced determination, I signed up for it. As soon as Mom heard, she stated plainly that I wouldn't ever go to class. Turned out that 'ever' wasn't such an overstatement after all. My mother had foreseen it all. What was I thinking?!

Here's what a typical Saturday morning is like for me when I actually bother going to class:

6.00 a.m. *alarm goes off*

"Oh feck" - The morning mantra

*hit the snooze button*

*alarm goes off again*

Groan.. *snooze*

6.45 a.m. I jump out of bed and look at the time!

"Uh-oh"

To shower or not to shower? That is the question.

"No time for that but atleast brush your teeth," says that annoyingly evil voice in my head. It's laughing at me! Grrr.

*mad rush to get out of my night wear and into some remotely presentable clothes*

7.00 a.m. *jump into sneakers and make a dash for the door*

*leave the building and then realize I've forgotten my books*

*run back up two flights of stairs*

*pant heavily and fumble for the keys outside the front door*

*swear profusely and be grateful that Mom can't hear me because she lives in a different state*

7.10 a.m. *grab books after spending seven whole minutes of trying to locate them under a towering pile of clothes*

*run back down and out on to the street*

*hail an auto*

The following conversation takes place in Tamil (or how much ever broken Tamil I can muster)

"College road," I manage to say in between sharp breaths

"100 rupees"

"WHAT?!"

"It's a one way, it's very far"

"No shitting me. 50 bucks." I yell

"80"

I turn on my heels and walk away huffily

7.20 a.m. After much wasted time, I finally manage to get a fair deal

*space out*

I end up going all the way to college, which is also on College Road, before realizing that I'm supposed to have gotten off at Alliance

*pay the guy and jump out of the auto*

*walk and half-run all the way back*

7.35 a.m. I finally get to my blessed destination and bound up yet another flight of stairs to get to my class, looking just as disheveled as I did when I woke up

*barge into class like one of those Tamil actors who barge into wedding halls and yell "Stopppp!!" right before the bride and groom tie the knot*

*get curious looks from everybody and grin sheepishly after excusing myself for coming late to class yet again*

I take a seat and look around, trying to figure out what page we're on

8.29 a.m. Just one more minute till the ten minute break. I'm as desperate as a terminal cancer patient praying for a miraculous cure.

8.30 a.m. *do a little jig*

*go outside and take a ten minute nap on a bench*

8.40 a.m. Break's over and I'm back in class, still trying to figure out what we're doing and why I enrolled myself for this in the first place

8.41 a.m. This time the terminal cancer patient is looking at me and wondering what I'm suffering from. That's how miserable I appear while waiting for the clock to strike ten.

10.00 a.m. *breathe a sigh of relief*

What?! Class isn't over yet?? Ten minutes left? My watch is running fast? NO WAY!!

That cancer patient is feeling my pain now. He wishes me a swift death.

10.10 a.m. Finally! I'm as emotional as someone who runs to the airport to stop the love of his life from boarding the plane that's going to fly her off to a land far far away, and manages to get there just before the flight takes off

*skip out of class in a manner akin to Little Red Riding Hood*

*smell Freedom*

10.30 a.m. I'm back home and getting ready to sleep late into the afternoon


And that, boys and girls, is what a typical Saturday morning is like for me on those rare occasions when I actually bother going to class. Sundays are a whole different issue since Saturday Nights precede them.