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Dear Diary..

A talking Belgian waffle told me today that it was actually from Thailand, so I packed it up in a box, shipped it off there, and ate an alien armadillo for breakfast instead. I decided to fly my paper rocket to work today but didn't get there on time because it rained. I should have taken our pet bison instead. Damn 'em beetle-bladdered clouds! At work, I was told that Alfred had been turned into an alien armadillo by his wife when she discovered that he had wet his bed again. Uh-oh! Hmm.. alien armadillo. Why does that sound so familiar?

I can't recall what happened next. I must have accidentally jumped out of the 18th floor window again and bumped my head against a crow or something. I can't even seem to remember where I put my spare leg. All in all though, I suppose it was a good day. I mean, I can't seem to stop smiling, especially since I can feel myself float above my physical body. This is so cool.

Ok bye.